PISS: Mandai

Yo Mat Riders,

This is the story of the Mandai Tree who was lonely and maybe lost forever.

Once upon a time ah, there was a lonely Mandai Tree. The Mandai Tree got no bradda or sista in high places, only low places like the grass, weeds, goats, chickens and boars. So he relac one korner at Bukit Mandai. One day, in 1855, somebody thought it was a good idea to build a road to konek Woodlands Road to Upper Thomson Road lah.

The Mandai Tree was scareded. He call for help, "Tolong! Tolong!" but nobody cared. The grass and weeds all kena cleared and the animals all run away to save themselves only. Although the Mandai Tree has been living here his whole life, he cannot fight the Rain Tree because the Rain Tree is Super Foreign Talent from South America Rainforest. Mandai Tree only kuching kurap heartlander.

150 years on man. No one remembers the Mandai Tree. Could this be the last sighting sighting of the Mandai Tree?



YESSAH,
Mat Love

Places in Sunny Singapore

Yo Mat Riders,

You live in Singapore all your life right but you know what the story or meaning about your kampung or not? Alamak, you blur toad already right? Nevermind Ok, Mat do this public slevice for you all lah.

Starting next time ah, Mat will introduction the Places in Sunny Singapore to you ah, otherwise known as PISS. Mat will go to PISS lah. Don't shy ah, come and join and one big group go to PISS together.

YESSAH
Mat Love

Akan Datang.............

.
.
.
.
Mat and Mao Show........... YESSAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
.
.
.
.

Singapore to be pirated vcd free by 2007

The gahmen has announced that Singapore will be targetting to completely wipe out pirated vcd vendors by the start of 2007. The gahmen is confident that the collaboration of the police force and citizens will lead to success.

Straight Times recently interviewed a former pirated vcd vendor, Mr Pa Chew Cheng. "Alamak, now ah, si beh hard to earn money man. Always kena pao toh by the public, all want the reward money. Basket. I think ah, now no future in IT already lah. Gahmen also change to everything BIO. Maybe i sell sperm, make more money."

Straight Times,
Mat Love

New balanced diet pyramid released

Scientists at Biopalace have made a breakthrough in nutritional research with Singapore food. A proposal has been drafted and will be submitted to the government to change the balanced diet pyramid.



The new pyramid is as follows.



Straight Times,
Mat Love

Thanks for the memories, Singapore Bostonians 2005-06

A tribute to those who have made 2005-06 a truly memorable year.

Jasmin, Kenrick, Angela and Jiamin at Kenrick's farewell


Jermaine's farewell lunch
On the left of the table from the inside: Katerina, Alex, Lynette, Kenneth, Miss X, Hongyi, Daryl
On the right of the table from the inside: Jianlong, Henry, Jasmin, Trevor, Me ( standing ), Jermaine, Melanie, Xiaojuan



Hong yi


White Water Rafting Trip
Standing: Wally, Jianlong, Thomas, Me, Instrutor X and Y, Trevor, Palex
Sitting: Angela, Jasmin, Katerina, Xiaojuan

RLX - Family Clinic

Yo Mat Riders,

A phone call today made Mat's day man. The story like this. Yesterday, Mat sakit perut man, almost want to die lah. Mat remember a pain sama-sama to this one when in primary school. At that time, Mat ate Kway Teow Goreng from the original Satay Club and then kena food poisoning. Went to the original Changi Hospital.

This time, the feeling the sama man, like got broken glass in Mat's intestine. No choice lah, got to go to the Family Clinic across the street.

( Turn on soundtrack to Saving Private Ryan-nudin ).

When the lift reached the level gilo and the door open, Mat collapsed onto the concrete and leopard crawl towards the stairs. With one arm on the injury, Mat flung himself to the railings and struggled up the stairs and got himself ready to cross the road. Many enemy vehicles at full speed in the school zone, all ignoring the barriers to stop them from speeding. Mat, with his advance frogger training, timed this run to perfection. Once on the other side of the road, Mat asked the chicken why he crossed the road but without waiting, Mat made a slow motion baywatch style dash to the clinic.

Mat was rushed to the treatment room, ya, cut queue man. Mat was loosing liquid fast, from the backside and from the mouth. No time to spare, the doctor came in, ask Mat to relac one korner with his shorts down and AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Mat took a shot in the right papadum.....instant relac-tion man. Mat passed out for much of sunday.

Anyway, today Mat received a pleasant surprise phone call. It was someone from the clinic. She ask Mat if Mat is safe and sound. Yes Yes, Mat is safe and sound. What a nice phone call man, so thoughtful. I wish more people so nice in Singapore. Then everyone will be happier.

Later,
Mat Love

R.L.X. - Encounter with Indian Fortune Teller

One day, during poly daze, Mat wanted to ponteng Friday Prayer cos super hot. Mat buy newpaper and relac one korner in void deck. Then this indian man approach Mat

Indian Man (IM): Would you like to donate some money? I tell your fortune.
Mat: No Thank Q you.
IM: I see your past is very cloudy. In future, you will travel a lot and have better fortune.
Mat: Thanks lah but don't need to tell more. Don't believe in fortune telling.
IM: Eh, how come you never go for prayers?
Mat: What you mean?
IM: You muslim right? It's written on your forehead.

Mat run like flash man, go to mosque. This RLX super spook Mat to the max. After that, always go man...never ponteng anymore.

Later,
Matlove

R.L.X.

Yo Mat Riders,

Mat is starting a new series lah. Not TV series tupid, series of true stories by Mat. R.L.X. stand for Real Life Xperience, pronounced "RELAX". Watch for it man...

Later,
MatLove

Happy 41st birthday Singapore

A visit to the trumpet factory

Suck it Ronaldinho - Extreme Freestyle Soccer Skills

Extreme Freestyle Soccer Skills

Top 10 things women can do to jepordise their engagement

10. You sleep with his brother

9. You sleep with his sister

8. You sleep with his father

7. You sleep with both his brother and father

6. You sleep with his mother

5. You sleep with your mother

4. You sleep with your father

3. Ashton Kutcher comes out of your wedding cake

2. You sleep with Ashton Kutcher

1. Donkey show