Helicopter Game

Yo Mat Riders,

Now is kerunch time, you know, final's examinations. This is the last steretch. Satu last push to the finished line. But you know ah, work 24hrs cannot lah. If not sure pengsan man. So Mat's sterategy is to relac with helicopter game. At last, Mat has breaken 5000 points. Power Max!!!



Ok, back to Balik-Kampung-Exam.

YESSAH!
Mat Love

Halal food

Yo Mat Riders,

It's been a month since Mat has bloggeded. So busy man. Now less than 3 weeks to final exam, can mampus.

Mat like to eat. Eating is Singaporean past time right. But Mat is muslim and there are some restrictions for good reason. Here is guideline

refer to: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halal

Explicitly Forbidden Substances
A variety of substances are considered forbidden (haraam) as per various Quranic verses:

1. Pork, or any pig-based products
2. Blood
3. Animals slaughtered in the name of anyone but God
4. Carrion
5. Any animal found dead
6. "Fanged beasts of prey"[13] as per the Sunnah, usually simplified to all Carnivorous animals with the exception of most fish and sea animals
7. And all intoxicants (specifically alcohol)

There is some disagreement among Muslims regarding sea food, especially predatory sea creatures. IFANCA (Islamic Food and Nutrition Council of America) states this regarding the opinion of Islamic scholars[14]:

1. All are in agreement that fish with scales are halal
2. Sunnis consider all fish to be Halal, while Shias consider some fish haraam[15].
3. Most agree that frogs are haraam due to the prohibition of killing it in hadith.
4. Some believe that fish found dead are haraam
5. Some believe that only those sea creatures resembling halal land creatures are halal

Mat's personal addition
1. Bittergourd - YUCKS!
2. Celery - better to chew water lah
3. Basil - see comment for lumber 1
4. Lobster - Is it really painless to be boiled alive?
5. Ginseng!!!

Yessah!
Mat Love

How big is your footprint?

Yo Mat Riders,

Mat was sick last week ah. ALamak, go see doctor here can die man. So here right, cannot just anyhow walk in man. Must make appointment lah, so only can see 2 days later for Mat. Then medicine got to take from pharmacy, then also got to wait 2 hours. Alamak, a lot of people also sick lah but not as sick as Gaia.



Gaia is the a complex entity involving the Earth's biosphere, atmosphere, oceans, and soil; the totality constituting a feedback or cybernetic system which seeks an optimal physical and chemical environment for life on this planet. Cheemmmmmm.....

How big is your footprint, the one you leave permanently on Gaia? Let Mat put it this way. By 2050, if the demand remains at the same level as now ah, we will need 2 more planet Earths worth of resource to support us. Where to find 2 more? You know, better faster tell Mat. Scareded or not? Mat very scareded man. How will my mini Mats survive man?

So ah macam man? What can we do?

Preserve, if cannot, then conserve lah. Let Gaia heal. Do not mine the resource but farm the resource. Look around your house lah, look at the lightbulb. Do you use incandescent or flourescent bulb?

Flourescent bulb outlasts 13 incandescent bulbs


Flourescent bulb saves energy and $$$ (up to 10x savings)


Flourescent bulbs are cooler (80% of energy consumed in incandescent bulb is wasted heat)


How Mat Riders? Be a man! Do the right thing!



YESSAH!
Mat Love

Private Property

Yo Mat Riders,

Mat has been thinking about this for a week man. What really is ownership, private property ah? Alamak, picture this, bunch of first Mats on planet Earth, all relac one corner. Nothing to buy, nothing to own. So someone got tired living in a cave and built a house. Then made a fence to keep out the tigers and keep in the goats.

So, here's the question.... the 1st Mat to invent private property is the guy who built the fence and said everything inside belongs to him or the Mat who believed him....

YESSAH,
Mat Love

PISS: Kallang

Yo Mat Riders,

Something an anonymous person wrote on Mat's blog gave Mat a Eureka. Remember or not the PISS: Geylang blog. This is version lumber 2.

Version Lumber 2: Orang Gallang

Another possible origin to Geylang is the early presence of the fierce orang gallang tribe, one of the many orang laut tribal groups that lived along the coasts and rivers of Singapore island. The orang gallang were well-known for their piracy and pillaging of helpless craft in seas around Singapore island.



Maybe ah, the same thing happen to Kallang like what happen to Geylang. Geylang Serai suppose to be Kilang Serai kena bastardized. Mat will relac one corner and ponder.

YESSAH!
Mat Love

Critically ill

Yo Mat Riders,



Mat's baby is in critical condition. Mat was away for the summer and finally baby came home. Looks like baby did not enjoy summer as much Mat did. The resurrection start now man.

Later,
Mat Love

Helicopter game

Yo Mat Riders,

WOAHHH...it's been a very long time since Mat updated his blog ah. Mat now super tired max. The start of the semester is really terok this year. Firstly Mat on come back to Bawston on first day of school, so no time to adjust. Straight must classes lah and then auditions lah under jetlagged conditions. Then combine puasa with moving into new apartment...that one is power combo until power bar max up. Finally Mat can relac one corner this weekend. It's a long weekend, no school on monday because of columbus day.

Anyway, Mat also has been busy with the helicopter game. Mat's number one fan intro to Mat this game that has taken over Mat's life. Google "helicopter game" and it's the first link. Good luck, Mat's best is 2896.

YESSAH!
Mat Love

The Technician's Tools

Yo Mat Riders,



From left to right

a. Bach Stradivarius 37 Bb Trumpet (stock from Elkhart, Indiana)

b. Bach Stradivarius C Trumpet - 229 Bell with 25H Leadpipe

c. Schilke E3L Eb/D Trumpet

d. Kanstul 1520 Bb/A/G Piccolo Trumpet

YESSAH,
Mat Love

Quote of the day: E.B. White

I am pessimistic about the human race because it is too ingenious for its own good. Our approach to nature is to beat it into submission. We would stand a better chance of survival if we accommodated ourselves to this planet and viewed it appreciatively instead of skeptically and dictatorially.


YESSAH!
Mat Love

PISS: Geylang

Yo Mat Riders,

Question: Wat is the first thing you think when someone says Geylang?

Ahhhh.....Admit it....sleazy bastards....

Geylang, the place of Mat's childhood, where Mat first rided a tri-shaw, where Mat makan chendol, is more famously known for a happy ending.


The History of Geylang Serai

There are many versions of Geylang Serai's history. Why? Why got so many? Because no one gives a shit about what the real history is and no one wants to set it right. All we know is this bloody ang moh called Raffles.

Version Lumber 1 : Gaylang River

The history of Geylang Serai begins wih a small settlement consisting of Orang Laut and the Malays on the banks of Gaylang River. In the 1840s, the British Government dispersed the Malay floating village at the mouth of the Singapore River because of its obstruction to port traffic. The Malay inhabitants thus moved inland, with some setting up home in Geylang.

This new settlement at Geylang was known as 'Geylang Kelapa'. 'Kelapa' meaning coconut in Malay suggesting the presence of coconut plantaions. However, since the beginning of the 20th century, the settlement has been known as 'Geylang Serai', 'Serai' in Malay is 'Lemon grass' indicating the growth or cultivation of lemon grass in the area.



Version Lumber 2: Orang Gallang

Another possible origin to Geylang is the early presence of the fierce orang gallang tribe, one of the many orang laut tribal groups that lived along the coasts and rivers of Singapore island. The orang gallang were well-known for their piracy and pillaging of helpless craft in seas around Singapore island.

Version Lumber 3: Kilang Serai

The word Geylang is found early in Singapore's history. On Franklin and Jackson's plan, reproduced in John Crawfurd's 1828 book, Geylang appears as a river, referred to in the map as R. Gilang. The word Geylang is of Malay origin, and likely to be a corruption of the word kilang, meaning "press", "mill" or "factory". This may be due to the large number of processing factories for the coconut and lemongrass plantations in the area, and it could be that mills or presses operated on the coconut plantations to produce oil from copra.

So originally, Geylang was called Kilang Kelapa ( Coconut Factory ) and then Kilang Serai ( Lemongrass Factory ) and the word Kilang corrupted to Geylang.

Well Mat Riders, how now brown cow? We are Singaporeans right? So we should go out and find out the meanings and history of our Singapore man.

YESSAH,
Mat Love

Fall Semester

Yo Mat Riders,

The fall semesters sudah started man. Super busy this week. 1st day of class already kena read a lot. Nak mampus man. So maybe the updates will be more relac now. Mat will try his bestest!

YESSAH,
Mat Love

Msn

Yo Mat Riders,

Back in Bawston finally man. Actually ah, the flight not bad one. Mat got exit row and then met a kawan on the flight. He from Mat's army unit and now he flight attendent.

Anyway, wat is the deal with Msn man. Ok, Mat already boleh jalan with the shortforng words like "b4", "gr8" etc. But now ah, got all the highlighted, brinking text lah, then subsitution the words with pics lah. Wah liao. Mat's brain chibaboom man.

Rant over!
Mat Love

Tribute to the Crocodile Hunter

Yo Mat Riders,

Crikey! Steve Irwin dah mampus man. So jialat! THIS IS CONFIRNG REAL NEWS! Check out the link here http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,20349888-2,00.html

Mat feel super sad today. Steve is an enigma and one of Mat's idol. Just last week, Mat try to go up close and personal with a buaya, the real buaya lah, not the chee hong one.



Steve, hope you are ok man. Relac one corner man!

EDIT: Steve was barbed by a stingray in the chest. But Stingrays actually very relac creatures. They only attack you if you make it tu lan man. So remember to be smart and not spread tupid rumors.

YESSAH,
Mat Love

Flying off

Yo Mat Riders,

Whoa....SBS (shag but shiok) weekend man. Fun max in Singapore. Now is the time to step up the intensialty in Bawston. So take care, heartlanders. Look out for more updates.

YESSAH!
Mat Love

PISS: Mandai

Yo Mat Riders,

This is the story of the Mandai Tree who was lonely and maybe lost forever.

Once upon a time ah, there was a lonely Mandai Tree. The Mandai Tree got no bradda or sista in high places, only low places like the grass, weeds, goats, chickens and boars. So he relac one korner at Bukit Mandai. One day, in 1855, somebody thought it was a good idea to build a road to konek Woodlands Road to Upper Thomson Road lah.

The Mandai Tree was scareded. He call for help, "Tolong! Tolong!" but nobody cared. The grass and weeds all kena cleared and the animals all run away to save themselves only. Although the Mandai Tree has been living here his whole life, he cannot fight the Rain Tree because the Rain Tree is Super Foreign Talent from South America Rainforest. Mandai Tree only kuching kurap heartlander.

150 years on man. No one remembers the Mandai Tree. Could this be the last sighting sighting of the Mandai Tree?



YESSAH,
Mat Love

Places in Sunny Singapore

Yo Mat Riders,

You live in Singapore all your life right but you know what the story or meaning about your kampung or not? Alamak, you blur toad already right? Nevermind Ok, Mat do this public slevice for you all lah.

Starting next time ah, Mat will introduction the Places in Sunny Singapore to you ah, otherwise known as PISS. Mat will go to PISS lah. Don't shy ah, come and join and one big group go to PISS together.

YESSAH
Mat Love

Akan Datang.............

.
.
.
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Mat and Mao Show........... YESSAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
.
.
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Singapore to be pirated vcd free by 2007

The gahmen has announced that Singapore will be targetting to completely wipe out pirated vcd vendors by the start of 2007. The gahmen is confident that the collaboration of the police force and citizens will lead to success.

Straight Times recently interviewed a former pirated vcd vendor, Mr Pa Chew Cheng. "Alamak, now ah, si beh hard to earn money man. Always kena pao toh by the public, all want the reward money. Basket. I think ah, now no future in IT already lah. Gahmen also change to everything BIO. Maybe i sell sperm, make more money."

Straight Times,
Mat Love

New balanced diet pyramid released

Scientists at Biopalace have made a breakthrough in nutritional research with Singapore food. A proposal has been drafted and will be submitted to the government to change the balanced diet pyramid.



The new pyramid is as follows.



Straight Times,
Mat Love

Thanks for the memories, Singapore Bostonians 2005-06

A tribute to those who have made 2005-06 a truly memorable year.

Jasmin, Kenrick, Angela and Jiamin at Kenrick's farewell


Jermaine's farewell lunch
On the left of the table from the inside: Katerina, Alex, Lynette, Kenneth, Miss X, Hongyi, Daryl
On the right of the table from the inside: Jianlong, Henry, Jasmin, Trevor, Me ( standing ), Jermaine, Melanie, Xiaojuan



Hong yi


White Water Rafting Trip
Standing: Wally, Jianlong, Thomas, Me, Instrutor X and Y, Trevor, Palex
Sitting: Angela, Jasmin, Katerina, Xiaojuan

RLX - Family Clinic

Yo Mat Riders,

A phone call today made Mat's day man. The story like this. Yesterday, Mat sakit perut man, almost want to die lah. Mat remember a pain sama-sama to this one when in primary school. At that time, Mat ate Kway Teow Goreng from the original Satay Club and then kena food poisoning. Went to the original Changi Hospital.

This time, the feeling the sama man, like got broken glass in Mat's intestine. No choice lah, got to go to the Family Clinic across the street.

( Turn on soundtrack to Saving Private Ryan-nudin ).

When the lift reached the level gilo and the door open, Mat collapsed onto the concrete and leopard crawl towards the stairs. With one arm on the injury, Mat flung himself to the railings and struggled up the stairs and got himself ready to cross the road. Many enemy vehicles at full speed in the school zone, all ignoring the barriers to stop them from speeding. Mat, with his advance frogger training, timed this run to perfection. Once on the other side of the road, Mat asked the chicken why he crossed the road but without waiting, Mat made a slow motion baywatch style dash to the clinic.

Mat was rushed to the treatment room, ya, cut queue man. Mat was loosing liquid fast, from the backside and from the mouth. No time to spare, the doctor came in, ask Mat to relac one korner with his shorts down and AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Mat took a shot in the right papadum.....instant relac-tion man. Mat passed out for much of sunday.

Anyway, today Mat received a pleasant surprise phone call. It was someone from the clinic. She ask Mat if Mat is safe and sound. Yes Yes, Mat is safe and sound. What a nice phone call man, so thoughtful. I wish more people so nice in Singapore. Then everyone will be happier.

Later,
Mat Love

R.L.X. - Encounter with Indian Fortune Teller

One day, during poly daze, Mat wanted to ponteng Friday Prayer cos super hot. Mat buy newpaper and relac one korner in void deck. Then this indian man approach Mat

Indian Man (IM): Would you like to donate some money? I tell your fortune.
Mat: No Thank Q you.
IM: I see your past is very cloudy. In future, you will travel a lot and have better fortune.
Mat: Thanks lah but don't need to tell more. Don't believe in fortune telling.
IM: Eh, how come you never go for prayers?
Mat: What you mean?
IM: You muslim right? It's written on your forehead.

Mat run like flash man, go to mosque. This RLX super spook Mat to the max. After that, always go man...never ponteng anymore.

Later,
Matlove

R.L.X.

Yo Mat Riders,

Mat is starting a new series lah. Not TV series tupid, series of true stories by Mat. R.L.X. stand for Real Life Xperience, pronounced "RELAX". Watch for it man...

Later,
MatLove

Happy 41st birthday Singapore

A visit to the trumpet factory

Suck it Ronaldinho - Extreme Freestyle Soccer Skills

Extreme Freestyle Soccer Skills

Top 10 things women can do to jepordise their engagement

10. You sleep with his brother

9. You sleep with his sister

8. You sleep with his father

7. You sleep with both his brother and father

6. You sleep with his mother

5. You sleep with your mother

4. You sleep with your father

3. Ashton Kutcher comes out of your wedding cake

2. You sleep with Ashton Kutcher

1. Donkey show

Top 10 things men can do to jepordise their engagement

10 - You suggest your wedding dinner should be at McDonald's

9 - You buy the wedding band from Perlini Silver

8 - You tell her you're inviting your imaginary childhood friend

7 - You ask if there's room for one more at the wedding ceremony

6 - You ask her ex-boyfriend to be the best man

5 - You fall asleep at the ceremony

4 - You say another woman's name when you recite your vows

3 - You want to name your first daughter after your ex-girlfriend

2 - You want to wear the gown at the ceremony

1 - You ask her to be the stripper at your bachelor party

Conversation with watch shop unker

Shop: Stupid Watch Shop (Name changed to protect the innocent)
Location: Peninsula Plaza, opposite Cathy Photo
Time: 12.30pm

Mat checks out the outside display and then stylo milo walk into the shop.

Mat, in perfect England: Hello, excuse me. May i see one of the watches in the display?
Unker: Which one ah?
Mat: The Suunto Observer
Unker: That one ah? All the Suunto watches 40% off. Good price.
Mat: So can i check it out?
Unker: You go to the website and then you check the specs out there lah. When you sure want to buy, you come back. I straight away give you. No need to check here lah.
Mat: Hmmm....ok, sure i'll check it out online. Maybe i'll buy it online too.

Mat then again stylo milo exits.

Definition of Courtesy

Courtesy, or rather the lack of it, has recently been a hot topic of debate in Singapore. Straight Times took to the streets to ask the heartlanders what exactly is the meaning of courtesy to them.

Reporter : Excuse me ma'am, can you ....
Woman with child : Sorry, no one to buy, no money, already got insurance...

Reporter : Excuse me sir, what is definition of courtesy?
Man : Curtesy ah? Is the loot word Curt ah? Curt is rude light? Means Rudesy lah. Why ah? Singapore got win rudesy contest is it?
Reporter : Yes Sir, we're 3rd in a poll of 30 countries but KL beat us to the top spot.
Man : KNNBCCB!

Reporter : Excuse me sir, what does courtesy mean to you?
Man : Curdesy? Curd..hmm.... can eat right?

Straight Times,
Mat Love

Republic tops international efficiency poll

Singapore once again came out tops in an international survey of 30 countries including Japan, the United States of America and Germany. The criteria covered a wide area including waiting time and frequency of public transport, custom clearance at checkpoints and ordering of fast food.

Straight Times managed to get in touch with the store manager of Mosque Burger, Mr Noh Mannersudin. Mr Noh explains how he found the perfect recipe for maximum efficiency. "My staff is super highly trained. Every situation ah, they know how to respond. Like example ah, the order process, we try to cut the time down. No chit chat or non-important words like Thank You or Please. These words just waste our time and your time also. We just say, "Want Wat?", "Total is xxx". Sentence limit to 3 words ah. This way, we get the food to you super fast."

Mat Love
Straight Times

The day Mat almost dieded

Yo Mat Riders,

Today is the day Mat almost dieded. The longest 1 1/2hrs in Mat's entire existence. Ok lah, maybe not...exagerated. Today was Mat's recital.

Mat got flu on sunday...yes yesterday. Jia lat man. Why always this happen man. So Mat slept a lot today, but still woke up very tired. Maybe sleep too much. Anyway, it was the hardest recital Mat has ever experience. Mat wonder how the pros do it. Something Mat need to learn.

Ok lah, Mat go koon now.

Later,
Mat Love

Trumpet Recital - Singapore

Yo Mat Riders,

Mat has been super busy preparing for his recital here in XIN JA PORRRRR.... anyway, if you have time, feel free to see what Mat do most of his time. Blow his trumpet!

Trumpet Recital by Najib Wong

La Salle Auditorium ( Mountbatten Rd / Goodman Rd )
10th July (Monday) 8pm
Free ( Donations accepted for charity of my choice )

Musicians performing:
Beatrice Lin, Piano
Grace Lee, Violin
Chong Loo Kit, Shannon Chng, Benny Goh, Winston Goh, Low Jia Hua, Yap Thien Soo, Trumpet

Repetoire
Bozza - Rustiques
Arutunian - Concerto
Ewazen - Fantasia for 7 trumpets

Intermission

Ewazen - Trio for Trumpet, Violin and Piano

Later,
Mat Love

Super Crouch

Yo Mat Riders,

Crouchino can do anything man.























Later,
Mat Love

Michael Owen

Yo Mat Riders,

Yesterday morning, Mat stayed awake to watch England vs Sweden. Mat decided to watch since Germany won their match so like that, at least more exciting man. If not, England and Sweden sure kelong man.

Anyway, the match worth it just for the 1st 5 mins man. Michael Owen did the impossible. He tackled himself. I think the whole HDB heard Mat laugh...WAHAHAHAHA..



now this lazy bum ( Owen, not Mat ) is out for 5 months but still getting paid 100,000 pounds a week. Insurance company pengsan man, lost the worst bet this world cup...muahahahaha



Later,
Mat Love

Soccer in USA

Why soccer isn't doing well in USA

Brazilian Fan


German fan


South Korean fan


Premiership gals









USA fan


Later,
Mat Love

Zoo Cup

Yo Mat Riders,

The world cup has arrived. What a start man. 6 goals in the opening match. Lucky Mat never bet for upset. The only upset will be Mat. Hehehehe...

Anyway, the world cup made Mat remember Zoo Cup. Remember or not. Power sial. Last time on TV, only like 2-3 mins between programs.



The Commentator



The Ref



Some teams









Stadium



Mat think that got 45 mini episodes. Ok, Mat's quest this summer to find all 45 episodes.

Later,
Mat Love