10 - You suggest your wedding dinner should be at McDonald's
9 - You buy the wedding band from Perlini Silver
8 - You tell her you're inviting your imaginary childhood friend
7 - You ask if there's room for one more at the wedding ceremony
6 - You ask her ex-boyfriend to be the best man
5 - You fall asleep at the ceremony
4 - You say another woman's name when you recite your vows
3 - You want to name your first daughter after your ex-girlfriend
2 - You want to wear the gown at the ceremony
1 - You ask her to be the stripper at your bachelor party
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Conversation with watch shop unker
Shop: Stupid Watch Shop (Name changed to protect the innocent)
Location: Peninsula Plaza, opposite Cathy Photo
Time: 12.30pm
Mat checks out the outside display and then stylo milo walk into the shop.
Mat, in perfect England: Hello, excuse me. May i see one of the watches in the display?
Unker: Which one ah?
Mat: The Suunto Observer
Unker: That one ah? All the Suunto watches 40% off. Good price.
Mat: So can i check it out?
Unker: You go to the website and then you check the specs out there lah. When you sure want to buy, you come back. I straight away give you. No need to check here lah.
Mat: Hmmm....ok, sure i'll check it out online. Maybe i'll buy it online too.
Mat then again stylo milo exits.
Location: Peninsula Plaza, opposite Cathy Photo
Time: 12.30pm
Mat checks out the outside display and then stylo milo walk into the shop.
Mat, in perfect England: Hello, excuse me. May i see one of the watches in the display?
Unker: Which one ah?
Mat: The Suunto Observer
Unker: That one ah? All the Suunto watches 40% off. Good price.
Mat: So can i check it out?
Unker: You go to the website and then you check the specs out there lah. When you sure want to buy, you come back. I straight away give you. No need to check here lah.
Mat: Hmmm....ok, sure i'll check it out online. Maybe i'll buy it online too.
Mat then again stylo milo exits.
Monday, July 24, 2006
Definition of Courtesy
Courtesy, or rather the lack of it, has recently been a hot topic of debate in Singapore. Straight Times took to the streets to ask the heartlanders what exactly is the meaning of courtesy to them.
Reporter : Excuse me ma'am, can you ....
Woman with child : Sorry, no one to buy, no money, already got insurance...
Reporter : Excuse me sir, what is definition of courtesy?
Man : Curtesy ah? Is the loot word Curt ah? Curt is rude light? Means Rudesy lah. Why ah? Singapore got win rudesy contest is it?
Reporter : Yes Sir, we're 3rd in a poll of 30 countries but KL beat us to the top spot.
Man : KNNBCCB!
Reporter : Excuse me sir, what does courtesy mean to you?
Man : Curdesy? Curd..hmm.... can eat right?
Straight Times,
Mat Love
Reporter : Excuse me ma'am, can you ....
Woman with child : Sorry, no one to buy, no money, already got insurance...
Reporter : Excuse me sir, what is definition of courtesy?
Man : Curtesy ah? Is the loot word Curt ah? Curt is rude light? Means Rudesy lah. Why ah? Singapore got win rudesy contest is it?
Reporter : Yes Sir, we're 3rd in a poll of 30 countries but KL beat us to the top spot.
Man : KNNBCCB!
Reporter : Excuse me sir, what does courtesy mean to you?
Man : Curdesy? Curd..hmm.... can eat right?
Straight Times,
Mat Love
Saturday, July 15, 2006
Republic tops international efficiency poll
Singapore once again came out tops in an international survey of 30 countries including Japan, the United States of America and Germany. The criteria covered a wide area including waiting time and frequency of public transport, custom clearance at checkpoints and ordering of fast food.
Straight Times managed to get in touch with the store manager of Mosque Burger, Mr Noh Mannersudin. Mr Noh explains how he found the perfect recipe for maximum efficiency. "My staff is super highly trained. Every situation ah, they know how to respond. Like example ah, the order process, we try to cut the time down. No chit chat or non-important words like Thank You or Please. These words just waste our time and your time also. We just say, "Want Wat?", "Total is xxx". Sentence limit to 3 words ah. This way, we get the food to you super fast."
Mat Love
Straight Times
Straight Times managed to get in touch with the store manager of Mosque Burger, Mr Noh Mannersudin. Mr Noh explains how he found the perfect recipe for maximum efficiency. "My staff is super highly trained. Every situation ah, they know how to respond. Like example ah, the order process, we try to cut the time down. No chit chat or non-important words like Thank You or Please. These words just waste our time and your time also. We just say, "Want Wat?", "Total is xxx". Sentence limit to 3 words ah. This way, we get the food to you super fast."
Mat Love
Straight Times
Monday, July 10, 2006
The day Mat almost dieded
Yo Mat Riders,
Today is the day Mat almost dieded. The longest 1 1/2hrs in Mat's entire existence. Ok lah, maybe not...exagerated. Today was Mat's recital.
Mat got flu on sunday...yes yesterday. Jia lat man. Why always this happen man. So Mat slept a lot today, but still woke up very tired. Maybe sleep too much. Anyway, it was the hardest recital Mat has ever experience. Mat wonder how the pros do it. Something Mat need to learn.
Ok lah, Mat go koon now.
Later,
Mat Love
Today is the day Mat almost dieded. The longest 1 1/2hrs in Mat's entire existence. Ok lah, maybe not...exagerated. Today was Mat's recital.
Mat got flu on sunday...yes yesterday. Jia lat man. Why always this happen man. So Mat slept a lot today, but still woke up very tired. Maybe sleep too much. Anyway, it was the hardest recital Mat has ever experience. Mat wonder how the pros do it. Something Mat need to learn.
Ok lah, Mat go koon now.
Later,
Mat Love
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Trumpet Recital - Singapore
Yo Mat Riders,
Mat has been super busy preparing for his recital here in XIN JA PORRRRR.... anyway, if you have time, feel free to see what Mat do most of his time. Blow his trumpet!
Trumpet Recital by Najib Wong
La Salle Auditorium ( Mountbatten Rd / Goodman Rd )
10th July (Monday) 8pm
Free ( Donations accepted for charity of my choice )
Musicians performing:
Beatrice Lin, Piano
Grace Lee, Violin
Chong Loo Kit, Shannon Chng, Benny Goh, Winston Goh, Low Jia Hua, Yap Thien Soo, Trumpet
Repetoire
Bozza - Rustiques
Arutunian - Concerto
Ewazen - Fantasia for 7 trumpets
Intermission
Ewazen - Trio for Trumpet, Violin and Piano
Later,
Mat Love
Mat has been super busy preparing for his recital here in XIN JA PORRRRR.... anyway, if you have time, feel free to see what Mat do most of his time. Blow his trumpet!
Trumpet Recital by Najib Wong
La Salle Auditorium ( Mountbatten Rd / Goodman Rd )
10th July (Monday) 8pm
Free ( Donations accepted for charity of my choice )
Musicians performing:
Beatrice Lin, Piano
Grace Lee, Violin
Chong Loo Kit, Shannon Chng, Benny Goh, Winston Goh, Low Jia Hua, Yap Thien Soo, Trumpet
Repetoire
Bozza - Rustiques
Arutunian - Concerto
Ewazen - Fantasia for 7 trumpets
Intermission
Ewazen - Trio for Trumpet, Violin and Piano
Later,
Mat Love
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